Being up so late with Keiko last night has screwed tonight up. I slept too late this morning, so now its 1 am and I can't sleep.

There are a bunch of things I have been meaning to write about, and do.
So two lists...

Things I meant to write about:
- Camping
- Did I write about my Mom's? That was fun.
- Pool
- Ears
- Financial wedding plan

Things I need to do:
- Call my Dad and get him to pick up some 3 inch screws so we can fix the back stairs tomorrow. Imperative.
- Go to Lenscrafters and see if they can repair my glasses.
- Take Avery to Ironwood, to get books at the library and a butterfly net from the dollar store.
- Find Bal's email address - send her poster's.


Ears:
So for years Patrick has been accusing me of being deaf. He thinks my hearing isn't quite right. I think he mumbles.
Finally last week he bitched at me and made me talk to the Doctor about it. So I go and the Dr looks in my ears. Apparently I have a whole lotta fluid in my ears. Which I think is only since I had strep throat, but who knows? The Doc thinks that might be the case, but why has my hearing been bad for much longer than that? So today they called me with an appt to see an Ear Doctor. I'm terrified of finding something terrible out.

Finances (so we can get married!!) :
At the end of August I will find out the exact date that school starts. Around then I am also going to start looking for a job, because then I will know the date I can start. I want to work between the hours of 9 and 2. That gives me enough time to drop Avery off (Or Patrick can do that) and then after school, pick Avery up. If I can find a couple Moms that will take Avery home for an hour after school, or even if its just daycare for an hour or two, then I can work until 3 or 4.
The daycare doesn't reopen until November-ish (She is currently pregnant and due in October) and I don't really want to rely on other Mom's, so hopefully working until 2-ish will work in the beginning.
So if I work even 20 hours a week (minimum) at $9 an hour, thats about $700 a month. In a perfect world I would put aside $500 a month into my savings account - which is less than I used to pay for daycare, and $6000 a year. But even if I can put aside $400, thats still $4800 a year.
So...if we get married in 2010, that gives me two years. Looking at the numbers, I can save at least $10 grand in two years. Which is more than enough for a wedding. And that is being practical with the numbers. I made $9.65 at the scrap booking job and $11 with Santa. I can settle for $9.50 an hour. And in November/December the guy at the other mall said he might need to hire me for a Santa job. I highly doubt he will pay me $11 an hour like the other mall, but if I don't have to work with douche bags then I don't give a shit.

We need money, but Patrick just got a raise and will likely get another raise in Sept (around there I think). Not to mention he gets an annual bonus. And I will hopefully have a couple hundred dollars left over a month that I'm not saving. So technically, on paper, it all works. I REALLY want it to work.

Hopefully by spring I will have enough money for a deposit on a place to have a reception, I think thats about $500. And since we will be doing it more than a year early, it should be cheaper. That gives us tons of time to find a place. And even more time for me to make everything. Because I am crafty, I can make so many of the things. Save the date cards, invitations, centre pieces, my veil, etc etc. And I have my cousin Lela, and my friends Brandy, Dominique, Ashley from Alberta, and a couple other people that have all gotten married or are going to soon. So they can offer advice hopefully.

I'm excited! Getting married isn't just wishful thinking anymore, it isn't out there lost in the abyss of the future. It is within grasp, I can start making it happen. Which is so awesome. I can't even tell you how awesome that is. I mean dude, 8 fucking years! And engaged for over 2! I want a damn wedding!! Haha :) I have to make this work.


Way past bedtime.

This makes me feel like I am a bad person.

"I still refuse to believe that medication is my only option for "normal", I can not accept that reality. I will not be that person."

Like something is wrong with ME for not having the willpower to try and be normal without chemicals in my brain.
But without that medication I don't have the motivation, willpower or strength to even try to be "normal". Its a vicious circle.
I've never been ashamed of taking medication before, why did that trigger something within me?

I have tried not taking them. That didn't work. I stopped the Effexor, after years of taking it successfully. I cut down my Wellbutrin to the lowest dose, and again I was bitchy and controlling and whiny and needy. Without even realizing it, all those emotions came back and I was an absolute witch to Patrick and Avery.
I can't think beyond myself. My medication gives me the ability to individually go through my thoughts, sort them and control them - NOT let them take over my emotions until I go crazy. I think clearly and efficiently, I can concentrate and process things much better with my medication. They don't numb me, or change me into somebody I'm not. I don't go walking around like a zombie. They help me behave like a normal person, without anxiety, depression, lack of self worth, jumbled thoughts frantically going through my head, without obsessively counting things. When I take my medication, I don't live inside my head.

With 300 mg's of Wellbutrin a day I can act like a normal person, I don't get anxious or overwhelmed, I can even scrounge up some sex drive now. I am nice. I am still painfully self centred but I think thats 'only-child syndrome'.

Medication doesn't work for everybody. My parents for example, they can't take antidepressants. They actually get crazier. I definitely believe that a lot of people use them unnecessarily, and that children and teenagers are being handed bottles of pills that they don't even need.
But I also believe that some people need them. And that crazy is genetic. A whole bunch of people in my family have mental health issues, maybe I was doomed from the start. I hope that anybody that takes them also tries to work through their problems with some sort of professional. The pills in themselves are not a solution.

I don't plan on taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety pills for the rest of my life. But if thats the only way I can be sane - then I will.

But what drives me nuts and REALLY gets to me are people that are completely against medication of that sort. They would rather suffer for various reasons (the craziest being my ex bf's - he wouldn't take them because then he wasn't depressed and couldn't produce his poetry/art). I don't understand what they don't understand. If you have a chemical imbalance, there isn't ANYTHING that is going to change that except for medication. Why put yourself through hell, just so at the end you can say you did it without pills?
Personally, I value my sanity, and if it has to come from a bottle of pills - then that's fine. I can love my family properly and be everything that they need me to be, all the time.


(****Note to DD: this is not an attack on you or anything of the sort - I just had a lot of thoughts suddenly, on that sentence you wrote. I am not judging you, your lifestyle, or your decisions. In fact I am proud of you for being so determined to be healthy - and I wish you luck, I want so badly for you to be successful.)

Keiko seems fine. She napped with me all morning.

Avery is at my Dad's again. She went yesterday around lunchtime and who knows when he will bring her back. I sure feel like a deadbeat mom, but its not like I ASKED him to do this. He just wants to, they have fun together.

Mostly I have been scrapbooking and watching Gilmore Girls. ZOMG acafe I am nearly halfway through the last season!!! What will I do then?? My life will be so empty and meaningless........................ :P


Journals to read:
aasshhlleeyy
acafe
andijustsmile
dome_girl
cloud_atlas
ericasanderz
feelingsuperior
freak_magnet
horizontalgg
jabre
jomac
madame_venus
transairn
tattooedmama

Kieko came home last night covered in motor oil.
She was in the kitchen and Patrick bent down to see what it was, we though it was just mud or something.

Then she ran off, into the living room, down the hall and into Avery's room - getting oil everywhere (But Patrick managed to get it out of the carpet, thank god).
We wrapped her up in a towel, he pinned her down in the bathtub and I washed her off with dish detergent. It barely worked at all. We switched so I held her down and he washed her off and that worked better. She was SO upset, she didn't claw at us or anything but she kept struggling me. I felt so bad, what cat wants to get sprayed with a shower head and lathered in soap? Poor kitty.

After that we called the SPCA emergency line, then they referred us to a poison control pet hospital. We were on the phone with her for ages and just talking on the phone cost us frickin' $55!! Non-profit organization my ass. Obviously we didn't think twice about it and paid on the phone, but yeesh. They said that motor oil won't harm the cat, it will mostly just make her tummy sore. She recommended we check where the oil came from because if Kieko ingested anti-freeze then that was an emergency. I checked the carport next door, they do a lot of car work there - and I couldn't see much in the dark but I could certainly smell oil. No antifreeze though.



It seemed like there wasn't much else we could do. We towelled her off as best as possible, she is almost back to her regular grey colours. I used paper towels as well, to make sure when I dried her the water came off clean and it did. I fed her some wet food as a treat, just incase she threw up at least she wouldn't be dry heaving - and because she was SO good. Patrick and I came out of that mess without a single scratch - thats impressive.

He was SO worried about her. He loves that damn cat SO MUCH. He rocked her like a baby when she was wrapped in the towel, he shushed her and talk to her and petted her. He is so amazing to watch, he just cares so much, more than most people would about an animal. Kieko recently started going outside, which is a first because she is generally TERRIFIED since the time she got lost. But she has been going out and every night Patrick gets all upset and worried when we can't find her to bring inside, and then when she does finally come in he talks to her and praises her and coos at her.
I'm probably jeopardizing his manhood writing all this, but its so cute to watch him love her. I remember feeling like that when he holds babies and when he does something with Avery that is truly adorable.



Kitty seems okay this morning. A bit lethargic, I think her tummy is sore. She can't be feeling well after all that, it was traumatizing.
At least she doesn't hate us. She slept with us for a couple hours and then moved off the bed but stayed in the room all night. Patrick says he thinks she knew something bad happened because when I was on the phone with the SPCA, she was purring to him when I was holding her and she was pretty calm even though she was contained.

As for Patrick and I, going to bed at 2 am wasn't the plan. I hope there is plenty of coffee for him at work! And I am going back to bed, but first a snuggle with Keiko.

"Seee??? They are all crap!"
I'm showing him the pictures we took at Centennial Beach a week ago.
"Show me!" he says.
"Okay here we go. The first one is the best, with the granola bar in your mouth. Then we have retard look, food in your teeth, nose flare, blurry, and more retard. So charming".
"Aren't you glad you have a man like me in your like?"
"................errrr.......................uh, yes".

-silence-

Okaay I am like 3 weeks behind on my friends list.
As I mentioned before, at this point its just ridiculous trying to get through it all. Even when I narrow it down to the most important people.

So....could you like leave a comment and fill me in on the highlights? Or is that rude of me to ask?
So far I've read acafe, transairn and jabre..........up until nearly a week ago.
But everybody else? Pretty please? lol.

Its actually stressing me out, I don't even use the computer hardly.

I don't know what her problem is today, but Avery has been arguing with me ALL day.
She's pissing me off.

STOP FUCKING ARGUING WITH ME. THESE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH? THEY AREN'T JUST NOISE.

This sure as hell isn't turning into a phase. She's having a time out now and next time the time out will be longer than this one, until maybe she actually takes some time to think "Hey maybe arguing and disrespecting Mommy isn't the best way".

She has communication skills, they are one of her best assets. Now USE THEM.
And none of this apologizing immediately bullshit. Don't say it because you think thats what I want to hear.

_______________________________________

Sidenote:
I have to mention that things are really pissing me off more than they used to. I know its because I changed my medication, and I continue to stop and think about that. But it doesn't change how pissed off I get. I don't like this.

I'm home. I'm alive.
I'll write when I feel inspired.

I haven't read my friends list in about 2 weeks. When I realized it had been a few days I knew I would need quite awhile to get through it. But now the task seems so daunting I don't even want to tackle it. Kind of like cleaning my craft room, or folding laundry.
When I actually feel like sitting still on the computer for a couple hours, then I will go check your blogs individually and catch up. Where to even start? Alphabetically?

I'm just letting you know that if something urgent happened and I didn't comment or anything, its because I didn't read it. Not because I don't care.
Mmmmmmmmkk?

________________________________________________________________________




I confess: I bought a pair of these stupid friggin' shoes for camping. And do you know how painful it is to admit that they are actually comfy and convenient to slip on?
I won't be wearing them much at home, unless I use them to go water my plants. However, I still plan on adding some black dots with a Sharpie so they look like ladybugs.

Came home yesterday evening.

I'm sitting here at the computer this morning,
suddenly feeling abandoned.

I was too slow
and missed my chance
for an early morning booty call.
He had to leave for work.
Ahh well, another time.

Last night we came home from the ferry terminal,
dropped off our bags,
packed Avery a sleepover bag and then
took her to my Dads.
Patrick had pre-arranged a sleepover.

From there we drove to Burnaby
to get P's friend Nathan and Nathan's Uncle
(I don't think I ever caught his name, oops).
Nathan is here from Saskatchewan
for 3 months, working at P's work.
We went up to see his place,
it's really nice.
But because the company provides
the living space (and a maid!!!)
there are many ridiculous rules,
which Nathan isn't a fan of.
Despite that, I think they
did a rad job of making it a nice livable space
with a modern look.
I would like to live there!
(If I was single and unattached).

Patrick has given himself a mission
which is to show Nathan
a good time
(gay jokes aside....)
I think its very kind.
So we drove back to Richmond
(I have done a lot of driving this weekend)
and took them to the Brew Pub.
Nathan loves his beer
as does his Uncle.

I had two
very large
Vodka Paralysers.
Blended. (My invention).
So good.
So giggly.
Such a red face.

Nacho mountain was delivered to me
good thing I had 3 grown men
to help me eat it.
It was a half order
and even then wasn't finished.
(I just realized that we left the take home box
in the car last night, Oh well).

Enjoyed dinner
outside on the patio.
A few awkward moments
which I prefer not to experience.
After dinner
and exclamations over the cheap beer
and dividing the bill
we drove them back to Burnaby.

My drinks had double shots
so by then I had
a roaring headache
and wasn't feeling too well
after the slurpee on the drive home.

We got home
collapsed on the couch
sweating from the heat.
The nice thing about living
on the second floor
is that you can leave the windows and fans on
(while Bob is home downstairs of course).
But it was still hot.

I fell into bed
Patrick was too full to sleep
so I enjoyed the comfy bed
by myself.
_____________________________

Today is empty
but full
of alone time.
I think I will go back to bed.
_____________________________

P.S-


Which do you like better?

Oh man, my mother is the most computer illiterate person I have ever met.
Its so frustrating.

She has this BEAUTIFUL brand new laptop, its totally rad. And has she ever used it? No. She has had it for 5 months.
I just tried to sit her down and show her the email thing. I said "You press this button to turn it on". And then I showed her the other button, with an envelope on it and said "You press this one for your email". I got as far as explaining that the new emails were the ones in black, and when you click on it, you read it at the bottom of the page. But when I said click on the red x to delete it she got all flustered and walked away.

Holy shit dude.
How on earth is she MY mother???

I mean DUDE......this is the kind of uber dork I am:


Before we left, Leanna came over and straightened my hair:

It was much straighter, but I was outside on the ferry and the wind made it crazy. Plus the swimming today might have added moisture (despite my best girly efforts not to get it wet!! hahaha).
I really love it straight. I feels so much lighter and flow-y. I haven't done it in years, its a nice change. I know Patrick doesn't like it, so I did it when we came here so he wouldn't have to see me :P

And the last picture is of me and Baby Macy.

My Mom ran into a friend she used to work with. He was also at the beach, with his new wife and baby (7 weeks!). So we sat with them and I was a bit of a baby hog, hehe :)

I'll fix this entry later. Its late and I can tell Mom is getting irritated with all the time I have been spending on this NEW FANGLED CONTRAPTION!

Today was a great day. A very sad day, but it was a happy ending.


I will never walk Avery to Kindergarten again.


I will never sit in Maria's chair and colour Avery's pictures while she does her work.


I won't get to see Mrs.Preswick again.

(She is an awesome teacher. I am so upset her contract is over at Avery's school. She really set the standard, I have a feeling the next teachers won't even compare).

I'll never have to remind Avery to put her name tag on the board.

(there was a board with a different question every day. "Are you wearing the colour blue?" or "Does your name have an F in it?" with yes/no columns. That was how they signed in everyday.

I won't ever wait outside of the classroom under the tree's with the little green worms (so gross) until 11:25 when the class is dismissed.
I'll never watch the kids file out of the room, each saying goodbye to Mrs.Preswick (or if you are Cale you say, "Goodbye my true love").
I won't ever have to feel weird again because Avery is chasing after Logan, a grade 7 student.
I'll never get to go to the playground after Kindergarten and stand around talking to those Mom's.
I'll never get to ask the Mom's if they want to go out for lunch after school.

(Caution: I'm hot)

That part sucks.


You know what I learned about, the most? That Avery is an absolutely amazing child.

She lights up the room.
She is confident and outgoing.
She is SMART, like you wouldn't believe.
She is clever and funny and her memory is outstanding.
She is caring and helpful, she loves to give and share.
She is the best behaved kid I have ever met.
She is sensible.
She is reasonable.

I can count her temper tantrums on one hand.
She listens to me and respects me.
She understands no.
She can whine like you wouldn't believe, but
I can talk it out with her, whatever it is.

I always knew she was beautiful. I always have loved her more than I can measure.
But I never realized how lucky I was, until I interacted with the other kids. Until I saw other adults parent. Until I watched the other kids whine, scream, cry, say they hated their parents, stamp their feet, etc. Or until I heard the horror stories from other parents.

And I honestly feel like the luckiest Mom ever. I am so blessed to have such a great kid, I can't believe she is mine.
Maybe I am delirious or blinded by love, but the faults that I can see in her are so minimal that they aren't important. Her life skills, her ability to communicate, her personality, and everything else....she is set for life. She is going to grow up and be a good person.


And to end this with a quote: "Everything you need to know in life, you learn in Kindergarten"

How to Annoy me:
Whine.
Oh my GOD if I never have to hear her whine again, it won't be soon enough. I am so sick of it, and school hasn't even ended yet!! This is going to be a looooooooooooooooooong summer.

How to Charm me:
Joke that I have "Fillo Fever".
(not explaining that one, sorry).
Okay well here is a bit: I was talking about how hot Leanna is and then there was the crazy sex dream I had about her brother a few nights ago....hahaha its nuts.

Today's Averyism:
Her adamant usage of the word "INTENSE".
"And it was so INTENSE, Mom."

How I felt this week:

(as inspired by pamie.com and tons of other flickr users that express themselves with sticky notes)


I am hoping that the next few weeks will be busy enough to distract me.
However I saw the Doctor today about the whole emotional crying thing. Apparently, thats not normal. WHO KNEW?!?!?!
So we are upping the Wellbutrin to 300mg's a day, hopefully I don't have any seizures. And if that doesn't help me out with the crying and libido, then we might try Celexa. I don't know how I feel about that.

This Friday (June 27th) Avery and I might be going to my Mom's in Port Alberni.
July 1st is Canada Day, we are going to the parade. Leanna might tag along.
July 2-5th Leanna and I are taking Avery camping (woohoo!)
July 6th and July 12th are weddings.
Patrick should also be getting some awesome news around then. I hope. Thats my theory anyways.
July 14th is our 8 year anniversary but at this rate we will be too poor to actually do anything. I really wanted to do something extra special, like stay in a hotel or go on a mini road trip or something. But it's probably not going to happen.

And the rest of the summer is completely painfully empty.

I have a big to-do list. I should write it down. Hrrmm.

What reminds me of marriage? Oh let me count the ways.......

1) My cousin Kevin (he is 19) and his girlfriend Natasha (20) just had a baby last month. Yesterday we drove for two hours (there, plus another hour and a half back. With my Dad in the car. Do I really need to express how fucking painful that was??) for a family get together to meet the baby. They are talking of marriage.
There is more to write about yesterday. I'm just hoping that I can write it when I'm not feeling so upset about it, and I haven't stopped feeling upset yet.

2) My other cousin Jason and his girlfriend (not sure of her name) are 5 months pregnant. also talking marriage (I don't think its a good idea, but thats my opinion).

3) My friend Brandy is getting married. I loved her bridal shower but that doesn't mean every minute didn't hurt. Oh and her best friend Athena (Dominique's step-sister) was talking about it, she has been with her bf for 6 years.

4) My other friend Dominique (I grew up with her and Brandy) is getting married.

5) Our anniversary is on July 14th. This falls right after the two weddings. We have been engaged for 2 years and 2 months, and together for 8.

6) Scrapbook.com decided to send me a nice email reminding me that 'Scrapbooks are hot, when you're tying the knot'. Which I'm NOT.

7) Yesterday the family event was at my Uncle Richards bee farm. At the end of April I decided to ignore my pride and beg for money (not exactly). I sent him a long email asking if he would loan (key word: loan) me the money for us to get married. He has kazoodles of money. So much infact that his wife and daughter decided on Saturday to go to Hawaii and then left on Sunday afternoon. Must be nice to randomly decide to go to Hawaii then leave the next day. He responded to my email a few days later with this: 'thanks for your email Jessie. we will talk to you soon. Richard'
And nothing, not a word since then or yesterday. I kept waiting for him to talk to me, there were plenty of chances that we could have talked without people around. My email wasn't anything demanding, I just expressed my need to get married. I played up the bit that he believes in, how marriage is right when you have a kid, blah blah blah. But I also bluntly stated that this was out of desperation and I was expecting him to say no and I was find with that. So he should have just told me no, instead of leading me on hoping desperately he might say yes.
(Fuck, here come the fucking tears).
(I ended the entry here and the rest is from now)

Not since I was pregnant and not allowed to share a bed with Patrick (all I wanted was to be held) have I considered getting married. Just going and doing it and fuck the ceremony and dress and everything. But yesterday I just felt sorry for myself and wanted to go do it. Just so my family would stop looking down on me, just so I could say I was married, there were a bunch of terrible reasons. ALL the wrong reasons, pretty much.
______________________________________________

Other thing bothering me:

1) My family basically did fuck-all after I had Avery. 2 women from my Dad's family came to my baby-shower. My Auntie Judy is not included in this, she has always been awesome. She had a family thing after Avery was born and nobody brought gifts, it was awkward and uncomfortable and nobody offered me anything at all. Not help, not gifts, not even time to spend together with them.

So on Sunday when we had the family thing for Kevin's baby - It hurt a LOT. I was whispering with Patrick and I got so emotional I had to go to the bathroom and breathe slowly so I wouldn't dissolve in tears.
That family was awesome for him. EVERYBODY came, brought gifts, was nice and helpful and there was a lot of laughter and joking around. The baby was passed around, etc. It was so nice to see, for their sake. I guess I sort of paved the way to acceptance for un-wed couples with babies. But holy fuck did it hurt sitting there watching them get all this positive attention, and knowing they are going to have it SO much easier than we did. I can't talk about this anymore, its depressing.

That was a big one ^^.

Yesterday I was so emotional, I welled up constantly. I cried a ton last night. I tried so hard to get my shit together so I didn't stress Patrick out, but I just couldn't help it. He was awesome.
There is nothing he can do and I don't want him to feel guilty for anything. We can't help that my family is a bunch of stuck up rich assholes. He can't help that we can't afford to get married. He wants to too, a lot. Which is nice, at least its mutual.

He is so good to me. So perfect and loving and wonderful. Last night he managed to give me the perfect amount of attention, hold me when I wanted to be held, talk when I wanted to talk, and just let me cry and be there for me. He even painted my toenails and made me laugh. (I lay on the bed and he sits on the floor at the end of the bed and paints them for me, so we were joking about it being like at the gynaecologist, lol).

He is amazing. I could not possibly ask for more. I love him so much, and I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with such an awesome person.

___________________________________________________

Tomorrow I have a Doctor's appt at 2:30. Hopefully we can figure out what the hell is the problem with me, I've had enough crying.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

For the past couple weeks I well up at anything. Why? Why do the littlest things make me want to cry? Its not even depressing stuff, its touching stuff. Maybe some sad stuff, but mostly good things that would warm your heart.

Gilmore Girls dissolved me last night.
And yesterday afternoon as well, but that was jealousy, not something good.
And now, reading Matt's Blog.

I guess I should see the doctor. This isn't regular period stuff, this is something else that only occurred after my med change. Oh and speaking of meds, I am completely off the Effexor. It wasn't so bad actually. At first my libido was back again but now nothing. Frustrating.

Also, is there a particular reason why hardly anyone comments on here anymore? I have been pretty good about commenting on other people's blogs and whatnot - so I'm not sure what the deal is. I guess when you slack off with updating then people get bored and move onto something more interesting.

I'm so fucking frustrated.

We have looked everywhere for a wagon.

I check Craigslist, UsedVancouver, and Buy&Sell. And I wrote down garage sale locations and we checked out a bunch this morning. Out of desperation we went to Zellars and Toys'r'us but we can't justify $80 for a fucking wagon. We might have to, if I can't find anything this week.
I have emailed a ton of people, in Vancouver, Port Coquitlam, North Vancouver and Chilliwack - all far away but maybe somebody will have one for cheap. None have answered so far.

We have to do the route now and I am so torn. We can borrow a friend's like we did on Thursday but they aren't home and even though I know they wouldn't mind, I don't really want to take it from their yard - you know? And Mel next door has one too but I know she doesn't want to lend it to us because she hates me. I'm stuck. I don't like either option - but I HAVE to choose one.

I'm just infuriated that someone STOLE our wagon. What assholes.
This paper route was supposed to be a small easy job for Avery and I to do together to get out and exercise, etc. But it looks like it is going to cost us money. This fucking sucks.

So this morning/afternoon included:

- Sitting on the beach with 75 children in the rain for 3 hours.
- Listening to my charming daughter whine incessantly.

And then I came home to do the paper route and found the wagon we were borrowing from a friend was STOLEN. From the backyard. I don't even have the effort to rant about that.
So with two hours to spare we had to find a wagon and deliver the papers with sore feet. Fun times!



Okay so maybe I am tired and being dramatic. The beach wasn't so bad. But the wagon part pisses me the fuck off.


Spell check says I am spelling wagon wrong. Seriously? Or am I demented?

To Do List:

✔ - Make dog poster (I am going to put up a poster in the neighbourhood asking if anyone wants their friendly dog walked during the week. Its worth a shot right? ***

✔ - Take a picture of bike trailer.

✔ - Make a poster of the bike trailer for Bal (school mom) to print so I can hang it on the bulletin board at the school and local community centre.

- Work on Laura's scrapbook. (She called me today, I haven't spoken to her in over a month and I haven't seen her since the end of February.

✔ - Clean litter box (so that Keiko will start loving me again).

✔ - Visit lanterfestival.ca. (Edit: I did and I am shocked. The website sucks, its actually quite obnoxious. And the prices are $20-$90 which is fucking atrocious. Excuse what appears to be racism: But are you serious? Are they TRYING to make it so only rich Asian people can attend? It's sickening).

- Blog about newspaper.

✔ - Get rubbermaid bin out of closet. (To put in the wagon we have for our newspaper route. Another mom suggested putting it in the wagon, then putting the papers inside with the lid on so that they don't get wet when it rains).

✔ - Fill out form from Jannsen-Ortho. (I called them about my birth control patch and they want more information).

✔ - Adjust Avery's bike.






***Something you may not know is how much I love dogs. I adore dogs. Well, SMART dogs. CLEAN dogs. FRIENDLY dogs. If they aren't those 3 things then I dislike them. I used to walk a dog named Shalsa when I was a tweenager, I got paid $5 a week (Thinking back, that sure was a sweet deal for the owner, haha). HOWEVER it is painful for me to see beautiful friendly dogs because I can't have one. And I have wanted a dog (a golden retriever or a spaniel) for as long as I remember. But I think that if I could be friends with a dog, and walk it on a regular basis then that would be good for me for a number of reasons. Mainly because it would get me out of the house.


P.S- I spent way too long googling html check marks for this entry. Hence why I wrote this entry yesterday but didn't post it until today.

P.Ssssssssssss- My allergies fucking suck. This year it isn't grass, so I have no idea whats making my nose cry like a baby. I was also sick and had allergies at the same time for awhile so I didn't even know what medicine to be taking. I decided on none sometimes because it seemed like neither was helping either way.

I was checking when the next episode was on and they had this widget....
So I Just HAD to use it because I'm a fuckin' dork - hahahaha :P



ZOMG! 23 hours! BAHAHAHA that's so pathetically sad and awesome.

p.s- my favourite part is how the pictures of dancers aren't actually any of the dancers.

While grocery shopping:
"Hey Avery, want to buy some stew for lunch this week?"
"No, I don't like soup"
"Its not soup! Its something else ENTIRELY!"
"Oh. Okay!!"

So we are eating our stew and its disgusting but she has gobbled up hers and is working on mine. Ugh.

Oh, parenting. Its all about lying convincingly and eating junk food when they aren't looking ;)
_________________________________________________________________________________

On Saturday we did the paper route for the first time. Patrick came too, he dragged his feet a bit at first but once he got to take charge of reading the paper list, he liked it :P
I thought Avery would be whiny about it, but she was great. She felt like such a big girl.

On Sunday I got up early-ish (hahahhaa, 10:30) and made something for my friend Brandy. at 12:45 Patrick dropped me off at her Mom's house for a surprise bridal shower.



It was a lot of fun. I grew up with Brandy, we went to the same elementary school and daycare. There were lots of sleepovers and giggles and silly girly things.

She's beautiful, I LOVE her hair.

(AND she's got great tits, hahaha).


Yesterday (Monday) it was a beautiful day. We could decide what to do, but ended up going to Steveston.

We stopped at Pajo's, which is a famous fish&chip place. Except that I don't like seafood and I don't usually like that style of french fry. But I'm still loving the chips with vinegar (NO I'm NOT pregnant, it is period week tho....hmmm) so thats what we got.




Then we got yogurt cones and headed to the park. It was SUCH a nice day out. I got a really bad sunburn on my back, but the weather is so disgusting today and the sunburn is proof of yesterday. It wasn't all a dream, I have the itchy skin to prove it!



Today is gross. The wind this year has been ridiculous! On nearly any nice day we have had, the wind has been so bad that we can't even enjoy it. Poop! Avery's class has a field trip to the beach planned for Thursday but its supposed to rain - which is crap. Ugh.

Look at your LJ userpics list.
- If you have fewer than 50 icons, pick every fifth one.
- If you have between fifty and seventy-five icons, pick every seventh one.
- If you have over seventy-five icons, pick every tenth one.
- If you have fewer than ten, pick all of 'em.
List them on your LJ, and tell everyone exactly why you have it, why it's interesting to you, what significance does it have.


1.
For dorky nerdy posts.

2.
Because I make lesbian jokes a LOT.

3.
Because life isn't perfect.

4.
For when I'm depressed and feel like there is no solution to anything.

5.
I never use this icon but I really like it. A terrible talent of mine is lying.

6.
I'm a redhead and I live in Vancouver, where it rains. A lot.

7.
Another humour icon, and one I don't use much.

8.
Its an Anne Taintor style icon and I love her immensely. And I'm lazy :P

9.
Another icon I never use. I always try to write exactly what I am feeling, and I also try to never write anything that I don't mean completely.

10.
I'm a whiny little bitch.

11.
Anne Taintor again, I can't help it - she describes me perfectly! I really want this on a shirt :P


And I'm also adding another section to this....icons I have never used but want to desperately!

1.
I have been meaning to make a post with this icon. Hopefully I will get around to it soon.

2.
I don't drive...but when I DO!!!

3.
I need to try this more often.

And my personal favourite:

Its hilarious and I freaking love it.
Heehehehehehehe.

OH and I have a bunch of Beautiful icons that I almost always use when I comment. I believe and support the You Are Beautiful Campaign - as seen here. I try to use them as much as possible. This is my favourite art display.